Habit #7 – Sharpen the Saw
You could be a very hard worker, but you may be trying to cut down a tree using a dull saw. You are in a hurry, so there is no time to sharpen your saw. Meanwhile, somebody else is not working so hard, yet is able to cut down a tree in less time and with less effort than you can, because they took the time to sharpen their saw first.
Did you ever notice that many times you have your best ideas in the morning rather than the afternoon? That may be because in the morning your mind is fresh (sharpened) from a good night’s sleep, while in the afternoon your mind may be a bit cluttered (dulled) from all the things that have happened to you that day.
Over time, if you spend most of your time focusing on only one area of your life, your mind can become like a dull saw. To sharpen it, take more time for other areas of your life, whether they be physical, mental, spiritual, or recreational.
If you need more time in the physical area, take up a sports program, an exercise program, or bike riding, or jogging. What this can do for you is to flood your body’s system with endorphins, a body chemical which really makes you feel good. This also flushes blood through your brain at a faster rate, which helps you think more clearly.
If you need more time in the mental area, read more books and watch less TV, unless the TV shows are educational in nature. Libraries are full of things where you can learn something new every day, or learn a lot more about what you think you already know.
If you need more time in the spiritual area, find a quiet place where you can let your mind relax gradually. Picture a lake whose waves slowly get smaller and smaller until it is as smooth as glass. Then talk to your Creator, and thank Him for all the fantastic things that He has created, all the small details of plant life, animal life, human life, and any other area that could not have happened by accident.
If you can, take trips to see what other areas of the country are like. Sometimes you need to get away from it all, and when that’s over, you might find you appreciate how nice it is to be back home.
Give compliments to others as often as you can, because every time you do, you are sharpening their saws also.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Habit #6 - Synergize
Celebrate Our Differences
Should everyone feel the same way about things? No, of course not. We all have a free will to have our own opinions and make our own choices.
This is why "synergy" works. Synergy means a combination of ideas adds up to better ideas because many new and better ideas come from piggy-backing onto someone else’s ideas. In math terms, this can mean 1 + 1 is more than 2.
Differences can create opportunities for synergy (as long as they are positive, not negative), so we must not criticize our differences, instead we must value them and celebrate them. Life would be boring if everyone had the same opinion about everything.
Valuing differences does not mean we have to approve or agree with differences, but it does mean that we should respect differences and view them as opportunities for learning. The differing opinions of others and their viewpoints, perspectives, talents, and knowledge are valuable gifts for seeking solutions. These differences enable you to discover and produce things together that you would not have been able to do by yourself.
People’s differences can be appreciated much the same as the different colors of the fall season, each radiant and different, and all are beautiful creations from God.
Look at the different skills needed for a basketball team. Some players are small and can’t get rebounds but are very good dribblers, others are big and good at rebounding but can’t shoot or dribble. Others are in between, average at rebounding or dribbling, but are very good shooters. A good team needs all these skills. The same is true for other sports and other types of teams that have nothing to do with sports. Can a team of plumbers build a house, or do you also need electricians, carpenters, painters, and other types of skills? Look for the good in people and work together in a spirit of teamwork and cooperation.
The strength of any society is its diversity, or differences, of talents and knowledge. Accepting our differences and working together makes life most enjoyable and is the only path to peace.
Celebrate Our Differences
Should everyone feel the same way about things? No, of course not. We all have a free will to have our own opinions and make our own choices.
This is why "synergy" works. Synergy means a combination of ideas adds up to better ideas because many new and better ideas come from piggy-backing onto someone else’s ideas. In math terms, this can mean 1 + 1 is more than 2.
Differences can create opportunities for synergy (as long as they are positive, not negative), so we must not criticize our differences, instead we must value them and celebrate them. Life would be boring if everyone had the same opinion about everything.
Valuing differences does not mean we have to approve or agree with differences, but it does mean that we should respect differences and view them as opportunities for learning. The differing opinions of others and their viewpoints, perspectives, talents, and knowledge are valuable gifts for seeking solutions. These differences enable you to discover and produce things together that you would not have been able to do by yourself.
People’s differences can be appreciated much the same as the different colors of the fall season, each radiant and different, and all are beautiful creations from God.
Look at the different skills needed for a basketball team. Some players are small and can’t get rebounds but are very good dribblers, others are big and good at rebounding but can’t shoot or dribble. Others are in between, average at rebounding or dribbling, but are very good shooters. A good team needs all these skills. The same is true for other sports and other types of teams that have nothing to do with sports. Can a team of plumbers build a house, or do you also need electricians, carpenters, painters, and other types of skills? Look for the good in people and work together in a spirit of teamwork and cooperation.
The strength of any society is its diversity, or differences, of talents and knowledge. Accepting our differences and working together makes life most enjoyable and is the only path to peace.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Habit #5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Many times, people cannot understand why nobody seems to understand them. Also, they cannot understand why the opinions of other people are not the same as theirs. Meanwhile, those other people are saying the same thing about you.
We all live under different circumstances. Different things happen to different people all the time, and these things form our opinions in different directions, little by little.
It has been said not to judge other people until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If you could do that, you might find that if you were faced with the same circumstances that they were faced with, you might also have some of the same opinions they do.
For example, you might wonder why the new kid in school is so unsociable. Unless you try to understand, you might never know that the kid had just lost a family member in a car crash, or some other unfortunate event has affected them.
Emotions can be just like a bank account. The bank account gets stronger with deposits, and weaker by withdrawals. Whenever you say or do something nice for someone, you are making a deposit into their emotional bank account. If that account is strong enough, it will be able to survive a few of your mistakes (withdrawals), but if that account is weak, one more withdrawal might empty it. At that point you have lost a friend. Always think of ways to make everyone’s emotional bank account stronger and stronger, so it will be able to survive occasional withdrawals, because they will sometimes happen.
Nobody is perfect, everyone makes occasional mistakes. You can choose to look for the good in people, or look for the bad, because they are both there.
Give people a break. If you are always catching people doing something wrong, you may be making too many withdrawals. Instead catch them doing something right, and compliment them for it. That’s a deposit!
If you want to be understood, do you think your chances would be better with a person having a weak emotional bank account, or a person having a stronger one?
Think of receiving understanding from others, or respect, compliments, kindness, favors, etc. as golden eggs from a golden goose. If you do or say something harmful, you may be killing the goose, and that means you will not be getting any more of these golden eggs.
That is why you must be very careful about how you say things. Is it better to tell a person "you messed up" or "I see an opportunity for improvement"? Is it better to say "You look like the first day of spring", or "You look like the last day of a long hard winter"? How about "When I gaze into your eyes, the hands of time stand still", or "You’ve got a face that could stop a clock"?
Many times, people cannot understand why nobody seems to understand them. Also, they cannot understand why the opinions of other people are not the same as theirs. Meanwhile, those other people are saying the same thing about you.
We all live under different circumstances. Different things happen to different people all the time, and these things form our opinions in different directions, little by little.
It has been said not to judge other people until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If you could do that, you might find that if you were faced with the same circumstances that they were faced with, you might also have some of the same opinions they do.
For example, you might wonder why the new kid in school is so unsociable. Unless you try to understand, you might never know that the kid had just lost a family member in a car crash, or some other unfortunate event has affected them.
Emotions can be just like a bank account. The bank account gets stronger with deposits, and weaker by withdrawals. Whenever you say or do something nice for someone, you are making a deposit into their emotional bank account. If that account is strong enough, it will be able to survive a few of your mistakes (withdrawals), but if that account is weak, one more withdrawal might empty it. At that point you have lost a friend. Always think of ways to make everyone’s emotional bank account stronger and stronger, so it will be able to survive occasional withdrawals, because they will sometimes happen.
Nobody is perfect, everyone makes occasional mistakes. You can choose to look for the good in people, or look for the bad, because they are both there.
Give people a break. If you are always catching people doing something wrong, you may be making too many withdrawals. Instead catch them doing something right, and compliment them for it. That’s a deposit!
If you want to be understood, do you think your chances would be better with a person having a weak emotional bank account, or a person having a stronger one?
Think of receiving understanding from others, or respect, compliments, kindness, favors, etc. as golden eggs from a golden goose. If you do or say something harmful, you may be killing the goose, and that means you will not be getting any more of these golden eggs.
That is why you must be very careful about how you say things. Is it better to tell a person "you messed up" or "I see an opportunity for improvement"? Is it better to say "You look like the first day of spring", or "You look like the last day of a long hard winter"? How about "When I gaze into your eyes, the hands of time stand still", or "You’ve got a face that could stop a clock"?
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Habit #4 – Think Win-Win
In the animal kingdom, when faced with a problem (stimulus), the reaction (response) is an immediate decision to "fight or flight". This is a win or lose situation. We humans have been blessed with a step in between stimulus and response, and this step allows us to more carefully choose our response.
We can choose to do what the animals do (fight or flight), or we can figure out a better solution that is good for everyone, so nobody loses.
Whenever we have a problem or disagreement, it does not always mean that somebody has to win and somebody has to lose. For example, if two kids cannot go out until certain chores are done, instead of arguing whose turn it is to do the chores, they do them together, they get the chores done sooner that way, and both kids are able to go out sooner. You help me and I’ll help you. We both win.
It has been said that you can get anything you want in life, all you have to do is to help enough other people get what they want. Always be willing to help others first, even when you expect nothing in return at the moment. This gains respect for you, and later on you may be surprised how well people will want to cooperate with you.
If a kid wants a bigger allowance and the parent says no, is it wise to fight or go away? How can this be a win-win for both sides? This is where negotiations come in. What if the kid offers to do extra chores in exchange for a bigger allowance? Depending on the value of those chores to the parent, the parent just might agree to that. The parent wins by getting extra help with chores, and the kid wins by getting the bigger allowance. Win-Win. Business contracts are handled in much the same way.
Sometimes we are not sure what’s the right thing to do. When this happens, use the WWJD approach (What Would Jesus Do?). That doesn’t mean you have to create a miracle, but you could think of ways that you could make the situation better. This usually means to seek a peaceful solution. Love God, Love Your Neighbor. From that perspective, solutions are often easier to find.
In the animal kingdom, when faced with a problem (stimulus), the reaction (response) is an immediate decision to "fight or flight". This is a win or lose situation. We humans have been blessed with a step in between stimulus and response, and this step allows us to more carefully choose our response.
We can choose to do what the animals do (fight or flight), or we can figure out a better solution that is good for everyone, so nobody loses.
Whenever we have a problem or disagreement, it does not always mean that somebody has to win and somebody has to lose. For example, if two kids cannot go out until certain chores are done, instead of arguing whose turn it is to do the chores, they do them together, they get the chores done sooner that way, and both kids are able to go out sooner. You help me and I’ll help you. We both win.
It has been said that you can get anything you want in life, all you have to do is to help enough other people get what they want. Always be willing to help others first, even when you expect nothing in return at the moment. This gains respect for you, and later on you may be surprised how well people will want to cooperate with you.
If a kid wants a bigger allowance and the parent says no, is it wise to fight or go away? How can this be a win-win for both sides? This is where negotiations come in. What if the kid offers to do extra chores in exchange for a bigger allowance? Depending on the value of those chores to the parent, the parent just might agree to that. The parent wins by getting extra help with chores, and the kid wins by getting the bigger allowance. Win-Win. Business contracts are handled in much the same way.
Sometimes we are not sure what’s the right thing to do. When this happens, use the WWJD approach (What Would Jesus Do?). That doesn’t mean you have to create a miracle, but you could think of ways that you could make the situation better. This usually means to seek a peaceful solution. Love God, Love Your Neighbor. From that perspective, solutions are often easier to find.
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