2nd grade soccer adventures

Grandpa’s adventures as 2^nd grade soccer coach

Uh-oh, I could see what was coming, at last night's soccer coach meeting I was told I had to log onto an "easy to use" software tool to see who was on Siena's team. Having dealt with corporate software tools designed by diabolical sadists (SAP, TFS, PWA, might as well add OMG and WTF), I have developed a zero tolerance attitude toward unexpected results. Sure enough, when I logged in I was told that I did not have a team, and would I like to create one? How can I create one if I do not know who is on the team? Wifey had to restrain me from body-slamming the computer. Somebody pour a bucket of cold water on me.

first day of soccer practice as my being coach for Siena's soccer team, expecting everyone to digest all my words of wisdom with great reverence, not so much, I ask one player what is your name and he says fart-head, I ask all to get in line for a drill and instead they scattered to the 4 winds, I say to another to do the drill and she says NO I don't want to, I feel like Rodney Dangerfield, but fortunately my son Mike, who I coached 30 years ago, took charge and somehow made it fun for the kids, should be an interesting season. As Rodney says, I tell ya, I don't get no respect, but I don't care as long as the kids have fun.

Today was Siena's first soccer game and we were feeling confident after having a good practice thanks to the new whistle Debbie bought me which blew their ears off, then during the game our highly disciplined players on the bench were slapping me on the rump and when I turned around they pointed fingers at each other. Everyone wanted to play either goalie or forward, nobody wanted to play defense as evidenced by their standing with their arms folded while the buffalo herd thundered past them. Coach Mike had his hands full keeping order, one time he asked me if the score was still 3-0 and I told him it was 9-0, oh well, 2 positives here, we have some upside, and at least the kids had fun.

To those who are anxiously awaiting the results of Siena's 2nd soccer game, to make a long story short, we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, largely due to our defense, instead of standing with arms folded, this time they stood at attention and saluted as the buffalo herd went thundering by, and I did not get any rump slaps from the bench, some say much to my disappointment, but hey we scored 4 goals and the energy level was really good, looking for our first win next week.

Siena's 3rd soccer game report - In search of our first win, to reach the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, to strive where there's no more to give, to go where the brave will not go, to fight with your last ounce of courage, this is our quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far (note from the Editor: jeez Joe isn't that a bit melodramatic? Answer: of course, that's what I do). Bad news, we scored one less goal than we did last week. Good news, our goalies made several spectacular saves, and our defense turned the buffalo herd around in the other direction, and when the dust had cleared, Belgium 3, France 2. Hinky dinky parley voo (it rhymes).

Siena's soccer team had the misfortune of playing undefeated first place jolly old England, pip pip cheerio and all that rot. After their pregame appetizer of tea and crumpets, those blokes used us as the main course as they chewed us up, spit us out, stomped on us, buried us, and dug us up again so they could stomp on us some more. After the game they raised steins of mead and sang god save the queen, then got on their motorcycles and did wheelies out of the parking lot. I exaggerate a little just to show how I felt. Maybe we should try some tea and crumpets too, and keep a stiff upper lip and carry on. Tomorrow is another day. Cheers!

At Siena’s weekly bizarre soccer practice, 2 of our best players were on vacation, another did not show due to an injury, one kid was crying cuz he did not see his mommy on the sidelines, another kid was crying cuz another player was being mean to him, then I had to do the “animal” drill where I have to make a sound like the animal of choice if a player hits me with a shot. Moo, cluck, roar, arf, meow, growl, baaa, naaay, oink, etc., so much for dignity. During scrimmage, one player scored on the wrong goal and then celebrated like we just won the world cup. Then one goalie was just laying down while the other team attacked but shot wide. Another kid decided to cast aside the yellow practice jersey and join the other squad without permission. Then on game day, much to my consternation, we actually put a whoopin on our opponents. Go figure!

Soccer bleu!  Mademoiselle Siena’s opponent du jour was Team France, ooh lah lah.  We got our first win against them awhile back, so the little Frenchies were not about to offer us any croissants, hors d’oeuvers or parfaits. The gendarme blew the whistle, en guarde! Let the group Minuet begin. Aaaa-lou-etta jaunty alouetta. Both teams exchanged several faux pas, mostly the overly polite “Garcon-Gaston” bit while going for the ball (after you m’sieur).  I could hear Inspector Clouseau screaming keeck zee ball, ye foools! While we were still doing curtsies, the little froggies scored 2 goals, au poupedou. At halftime coach Mikey gave the Vince Lombardi – Mike Ditka pep talk, and in the 3^rd quarter we played like the crem de la crem, scoring 4 goals, touche’ poosiecats! Then in the 4^th quarter we scored one more time to apply the most exquisite coup-de-grace.  Viva le Belgium!  Au revoir!

Siena’s soccer team was about to play Team England, wearing red, and we were wearing blue, thus re-enacting the Revolutionary War. The photo shows what George Washington and Thomas Jefferson might have looked like without their white wigs. Our pregame pep talk was very presidential “We The People of Belgium…oops…”. I could hear Paul Revere riding by and yelling, To Arms, To Arms, the Redcoats Are Coming!  I was planning to have us re-enact the Boston Tea Party by tossing all the Redcoat soccer balls into the dumpster, but I chickened out. Team England had previously re-enacted the battles of Lexington and Bunker Hill by defeating us (see prior posts). The Redcoats marched onto the pitch in a square formation, wearing pith helmets, beating drums and shouting Huzzah and Tally Ho.  We tried to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy but we were given the red-X buzzer by Simon Cowell. The skirmish began as we attempted the Shot Heard Round the World, but their goalie made the save. Then Mother Nature got into the act, the weather got increasingly cold and windy with sleet like Valley Forge, if we tried to cross the Delaware our boat would have sunk. Then the little blokes gave us a withering volley of 4 goals. We patriotically declared we have not yet begun to fight, and countered with 2 goals, but that was with only 2 minutes left in the game, so USA did not really lose (we are Belgium), the game was just too short.

Siena’s soccer team Belgium (B) most recently played a team named The Dinosaurs (D).  Let the trash talking begin. (B) Hey Barney, it must be hard to play goalie with those stubby little arms.  (D) What we lack in arms, we make up for with teeth, check out these pearly whites, it takes us over an hour to floss.  (B) Hey Godzilla, I bet you have never been called for a hand-ball with those stubby little arms. (D) Right, instead we get called for teeth-balls, we gotta chomp on something. Stick your right arm into my mouth so we can call you Lefty.  (B) Hey Rex, it must be hard for you do a legal sideline throw-in if your stubby little arms can’t get the ball over your head. (D) Did you hear the joke about the roof or is that over your head too?  (B) Hey Thesaurus, got any new words for us? (D) Yes, chomp, swallow, and digest. You look tasty, let’s do lunch after the game.  (B) Hey Snuffleupagus, does Jurassic Park have a playground with swings and slides?  (D) No, but we do have a boneyard for leftovers, wanna see? (this is me) at this point we had to admit they won the trash-talking debate, which made us a bit dino-phobic, thus we decided not ask them why they are still in 2^nd grade after a million years of flunking. Nor did we ask them if they are herbiferous or carnivorous, we already knew the answer since they have invited us to, or as lunch. Since we did not wish to become dino-chow, instead we let them win, and after having a brief Kumbaya shaking hands with their stubby little arms, we got the heck out of there ahead of their snapping jaws and stood them up on their lunch date. In closing, since our last 2 games will be against the froggies and the blokes, and we have already insulted both of them as much as possible (see prior posts), so there is not much more to say about either of them, so this will be the last soccer post, I hope all this nonsense has at least provided a few laughs. Have a good off-season.

A dream suggested to me that my last day will be Feb 8, but did not state which year. It is human nature to assume each of us will live for a long time, but sooner or later one day will be our last, and nobody knows how soon that might be, might be tomorrow, might be Feb 8, might be much later, nobody knows.  So if I make it to Feb 9, which I expect I will, then my plan to live to over 100 is still intact. However when my last day comes, what is next on the other side? If you are an atheist, after your last day, you simply cease to exist, there is no hope for you so there is no point following any rules or morals, but for others there is hope for an afterlife so it makes sense to prepare for that.  Since you are going to be dead a whole lot longer than you are going to be alive, you might as well figure out what are the right preparations, just in case there really is an afterlife, and there is, so don’t miss out, wake up and seek the Truth. Now.

We all live in one world, or do we? Your world is not the same as your neighbor’s world, times (x) the number (#) of neighbors on your block, x# of blocks on your street, x# of streets in your town, x# of towns in your county, x# of counties in your state, x# of states in your country, x# of countries on this planet, x# of different types of non human creatures, all of which have their own different worlds, and this is only one planet. Maybe life exists only on this planet, maybe not, if there is life elsewhere, consider the x# of planets in our galaxy, x# of galaxies in our known universe, x# of unknown galaxies or universes. This is all way too overwhelming, none of it makes any sense unless there is an afterlife, which puts everything in perspective. In other words, we all have a choice to either ignore all this, or make preparations by seeking the Truth on how to get to this afterlife.

The Resurrection was real. If you think this is only a fairy tale, read about the Shroud of Turin. The evidence from this is overwhelming. Believe it and act accordingly.

Wonders, Gifts, and Miracles (WGM), all coincidences?  I think not.

Creation is full of WGM.  Consider the vastness of the universe. The speed of light is almost 200,000 miles per second, but as fast as that seems, it still takes several minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.  Our planet earth is only one speck in our solar system, and our solar system has only one star, the sun, which is only like one speck of sand on the beach of stars within our Milky Way galaxy, a galaxy which is only one speck among many other galaxies. Every time a more powerful telescope is invented, more and more galaxies are discovered further and further away. Where does it end? Think about that, this is mind blowing.

So does it make sense that there must be life existing somewhere else in this vast universe? Perhaps if God willed it, but if life does exist elsewhere, it most certainly will be different than earth’s creatures, because the odds of a planet having ALL the same conditions exactly the same as our Earth are really small when you consider the following:

We take for granted our daily environmental conditions, but if you consider all the daily WGM at play in the overall combinations of all these things, we cannot assume that all the possible conditions on any newly discovered planet anywhere in our galaxy or any other galaxy can possibly be exactly the same as ours, just because they are the same size as ours …

·      For human life to exist, it requires a planet that has a specific type of atmosphere with a mix of oxygen and other types of gasses with temperatures in the range of -50 to +120 degrees F.

·      This atmosphere must have an ozone layer to protect life from destructive ultraviolet rays and yet allows photosynthesis, unlike our sister planet Venus which has an atmosphere that would be poisonous to human life.

·      This planet must have an abundance of water and land masses. The water must be fresh enough to support human life. Ocean salt water can support life, but not human life.

·      Our sun has just the right size and stability, and Earth is just the right distance away from the sun to allow our current temperature ranges. Venus is too close and too hot, and Mars is too far and too cold. A pulsing star would not have enough stability and therefore would obliterate any chance of life.

·      Comets, asteroids, and larger meteors could collide with our Earth at any time and end our existence. It is divine providence that larger planets like Jupiter and Saturn have enough gravitational pull to suck up comets and meteors which might otherwise be bombarding the Earth, although some of these do get through and hit the Earth as evidenced by Meteor Crater in Arizona. Scientists believe the dinosaurs were rendered extinct by impact of a comet or asteroid before humans existed.  If this impact had never occurred, I am not sure humans could have co-existed with dinosaurs. Another such impact could also render humans extinct. This could happen without warning, or even if there were some warning, we would be powerless to prevent it.

·      The Earth’s daily spin rate is just right to keep from overwarming and overcooling, and its precise axis tilt, 23 degrees, allows for changing of seasons.

·      The Moon’s gravitational pull keeps earth from deviating from this 23 degrees tilt, allowing perfect 365 day changing of seasons, which means the heat of summers and the cold of winters are not overly long.

·      The transition of intermediate seasons of spring and fall are both pleasant and amazingly colorful in different ways.

·      The Earth’s gravity is just right for human life, not too weak and not too strong, just right for sports like baseball, basketball, tennis, golf, and other activities. Imagine how different sports and life in general would be if gravity were stronger or weaker.

·      Human life also requires fresh water that is drinkable and not poisonous. Earth’s water has 3 states, ice, vapor, and liquid, and is only liquid between specific temperature ranges. When it becomes too hot it vaporizes, too cold and it turns to ice and curiously floats rather than sinks. Salt water covers two thirds of our planet but it cannot be consumed, yet there is just enough fresh water to survive.

·      Rainy cycles and snow melts are just right to provide enough fresh water for humans to survive.

·      Clouds do not cover the surface of the earth, but rise just high enough to allow visions of the earth’s surface, that is probably not by accident. WGM.

·      Fire is a phenomenon that allows humans to have warmth, without it we could not exist. However fire can be extremely dangerous, so we are extremely fortunate to be able to control its boundaries. WGM.

·      In order for any creature to survive, its heart must beat continuously, or else it dies immediately.  What is it that allows the next heartbeat? WGM.

·      In order for any creature to survive, its lungs must be able to take a breath, or it dies immediately.  What is it that allows the next breath? WGM.

·      In order for any creature to survive, its immune system must be able to fight off viruses, bacteria, and other forms of diseases or venomous bites from insects or other animals. There is a constant war between harmful and beneficial bacteria to keep us alive. It is a WGM that some of us have enough beneficial bacteria and strong enough immune systems to fight off viruses and other illnesses.

·      Skin is very tough to fights off injuries, but even when penetrated it heals itself, WGM.

·      Humans with higher intellect enabled society to advance with constant improvements in technology, instead of existing with lifestyles not much better than apes.  The vast majority of people do not have the same high intellect but because of society structures we have benefitted from the efforts of those who did.

·      To be able to see, to envision colors, the eyes can adjust to brightness or darkness, some of us can see better than others. Sight is a WGM that we take for granted, but blind people are denied this privilege, nevertheless their other senses become more keen to compensate for this deficiency.

·      All of us have the same facial features, hair, eyes, nose, lips, cheeks, ears, etc., but we all are recognized differently. Given the number or people in the world, this is clearly WGM.

·      It is a gift that hand-eye coordination allows us to catch or hit a fast moving object without much forethought.

·      It is a WGM that motor muscle memory allows us to play a musical instrument or operate a keyboard without much forethought.

·      It is a WGM that we have the ability to memorize things.

·      It is a WGM that we have to capacity to appreciate music and other arts.

·      The greatest gift is the ability to love and to have compassion.

·      Our bodies consist of many organs that we take for granted. Each organ of the body has a unique function and it is WGM that all functions work together so well. Failure of any of these organs would drastically hurt your quality of life.

·      Senses of smell, touch, emotions, taste, sight are WGM, not everyone is blessed with all of these. Failure of any of these senses would drastically hurt your quality of life.

·      Consider the many types of animal life, some for eating, some for beauty, some are dangerous, some can be trained, some cannot.

·      Consider the many types of plant life, some for eating, some for beauty, some for healing, consider the intricacies of viewing their cell structures by microscope.

·      Animal life and plant life can exist in many different environments, air, land, and sea, hot or cold, from tiny bacteria to large beasts.

·      Consider the food chain, every plant or animal is food for another. Even at the human level, some foods and drinks are more or less desirable depending on individual tastes.

·      Every animal has a special skill to hunt for prey, look how the spider is able to spin a web from its own bodily fluids in order to make a web to trap insects. Birds can fly and spot their prey on the ground. They can also build nests for their young in places where other animals cannot reach. Large cats and dogs can run faster than their prey. Bears can catch fish from running rivers.  Insect colonies such as ants and bees can work together for their common needs.

·      Consider the defense mechanisms of skunks, porcupines, octopi, etc. which protect them from predators.

·      Consider the cuteness of babies of all species, from humans to dogs to cats to alligators. This cuteness makes us want to protect them.

·      Consider the body’s ability to heal itself from wounds, both internal and external, that is WGM, without which we would certainly die after the first wound.

·      Consider how we have learned about various different blood types, which allow life saving transfusions, but only if the blood types are compatible. That is amazing WGM.

·      Consider the ability of creatures such as dogs and dolphins to interact with humans and allow themselves to be trained. WGM.

·      Consider the vastness of the universe, does it go on forever? if it is limited, what is outside the limits of the universe?  Nothingness? If so, does that have size limits?  Could there be there multiple universes? WGM

·      It is WGM that the earth is mostly covered by water that we cannot drink, and also has fresh water that we can drink, and aquatic life is abundant in both salt water and fresh water.

·      It is a WGM how fresh water gets continually replenished by rains and ice melts.

·      It is a WGM that the air we breathe has just the right mix of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and other components to support life as we know it.  Our sister planet Venus does not have this mix and therefore cannot support life as we know it.

·      It is WGM how the circle of life has a food chain of plant-eating and meat-eating creatures. Every creature is food for another creature, from tiny creatures to bigger creatures. Plant life in itself is amazing in its diversity, from microscopic cells to huge trees.

Conclusions

This is a preponderance of evidence of intelligent design created by God. All these WGM’s, in all their combinations, are not likely to be random coincidences. Take away any of these items, fresh water for example, and our lives would not be the same, maybe our life forms could not be able to exist at all.

What does this all mean? Corinthians 1:15 is a good summary. If the Resurrection and Eucharistic Miracles are only fictional stories, then our faith is in vain, but if they are true, and they are true, as evidenced by studies of the Shroud of Turin, then we all had better pay attention to the truth about the afterlife, because the opportunity is coming to all of us.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Usually when I play hooky from work I play alone, but yesterday I was paired with another guy at Fox Run. We played the blue tees and they were way back on hole 6 hitting into a stiff breeze. I used a 4 iron but could not see the ball land due to my worsening cataract, surgery planned Nov 13. When we walked onto the green only his ball was visible, nothing short of the green, so I was heading to the back of the green assuming I hit it too long. Of course, one cannot resist the urge to peek into the hole on the way, hahaha, right?  OMG, there’s my yellow Srixon Q-star!  I was reduced to a quivering mass of protoplasm while the other guy ran over to look into the hole and then went completely berserk, fouling the air with all sorts of caustic verbiage, all the way thru holes 7-8-9 and into the clubhouse to report this to the pro shop. Now if I were playing alone, who would believe me? Who could I tell, my wife or my boss, both of who think I am still at work? So the pro interrogates me as to which tees, which club did I use, etc. and I sheepishly had to admit it was a 4 iron, not the usual 8 or 9 iron when the wind is not blowing, then I said “No wait, it was a pitching wedge” but it was too late, he was not buying that. Anyway the other guy wants to buy me a beer, but I had to insist upon the tradition of the ace maker having to buy the beer, otherwise it would not count. Who should be in the group ahead of me but George Carlson, fellow softball teammate, who heard all the noise and asked me if this was my first ace, and then one upped me by saying he has two. Grrrrr!

Understanding discipline - Humans are a combination of two beings, an animal with normal animalistic desires, and a spirit or conscience capable of making responsible and moral choices. Frequently these two beings conflict with each other. Most of life's successes and failures are related to which of these two beings can overcome the other. When your bag of bones wins, you may become a couch potato. When the other being wins, there is no limit to your potential.

Would you not be disappointed if you gave a valuable gift to someone and they did not show appreciation and instead complained?

Would you then feel like not giving such gifts to them anymore?

Each day is a gift that our Creator does not have to give us, but when He does, we should be thankful, He really did not have to do that.

But since He did anyway, it makes more sense to give thanks and use this gift to the best of our abilities.

To complain instead is to invite the second sentence above.

Lent is a great motivator to put your life in order.
You can find a daily Lenten thought by choosing the Archive links at the right side, starting with 2009 February.

Conversation with an atheist

Atheist - I do not believe in God
me - do you believe in love?
atheist - yes of course, everyone does
me - then since God is Love, then you just admitted you believe in God, have a nice day

Learning from Tiger – Kids look to celebrities to be their role models, anyone but their parents. After all, when living with anyone 24-7 you are bound to see they are far from perfect, in comparison you usually only see the good side of celebrities since you do not see them 24-7. Since it is a kid’s job to rebel against parents, the better example that parents try to set, the more likely the kids are to rebel against that example. It’s a natural part of growing up, ironic since parents, not strangers, are the only ones who would die for you. The competition parents have from outside sources serving as role models is overwhelming these days. The entertainment industry says it only reflects society’s values. I beg to differ. It amplifies them and teaches them to our young people. As our moral values decline, movies, TV and music reinforce the notion that celebrities’ life styles are mainstream. This is why other countries do not like us. Don’t blame it all on Tiger, it is the same with many other sports figures, singers, actors, etc.. Our politicians sure as heck should serve as role models. President Bill Clinton was a pretty smart guy, but an awful role model. By his actions, he told millions of young and old Americans alike that it’s OK to cheat on your spouse – multiple times if you want to – because there really wasn’t much consequence. You could even make money writing a book about it. Hillary wrote one too. Many kids today don’t have two parents growing up. Some of them don’t even know who their parents are. Where are those kids supposed to find guidance? From the trusted liberal professor at school? At the church they don’t attend? From the scout leader they don’t know? Like it or not, each of us, young or old, is possibly serving as a role model to someone else. Might as well try to do it right.